I’ll take a USB Port in my brain, please.
Sometimes my thoughts amaze even me and I want to capture them ALL. Since I’m “blogging” now, I need away to document the random thoughts I have at all times so y’all don’t miss out on any golden moment. I’ve decided to carry a journal…but since a lot of awesome happens while I’m driving – and I don’t condone journaling while driivng – I decided it would be helpful to have a USB port in my brain so I can just plug in and download my thoughts when I come across a good one. And I’d like it just above my right ear near my hairline. That way it’s convenient.
Today – if I would have had a USB port to my brain, I would have downloaded thoughts about:
How E.Coli is going to be the cause of the Zombie appocolypse…I mean come one, a FUNGUS is already taking over the ANT Population. Wait. maybe we should be more aware of the fungus among us. Stop eating shrooms people – you’re going to find yourself dead biting down on a leaf. Also – stay away from the “fun guy” at parties… (ha. throwback, don’t hate).
If you get botox in your armpits to stop sweating, I’m pretty sure it’s scientific (or totally just my theory) that you’re body will start sweating in weird places. Once, I used Certain Dry(or dri, I don’t know) for a long period of time and the back(s) of my knees started to sweat more. It has to come out somewhere, right? What if your body chooses a m0re inconvenient place to sweat, like the tip of your nose, or your collar bone, or you know sexy places…that would SUCK. So just deal with your sweaty armpits, because that’s how you were made. With sweaty armpits.