A Series of Short Stories

Once upon a time, there was a bat and he was blue and he had eyes on his wings and he was rad. The End.

In a land, far far away, on planet Gorborksaborg, near Pluto, all the socks that everyone lost in their dryer over the last 100 years were found. Also they were all turned green, because they became alien socks.

Suzy McKromick was walking down the street and she saw a dog. It peed on her. She cried because the kids at school laughed at her for smelling like pee and no one believed it was dog pee because she doesn’t own a dog, so people thought she peed on herself and then she was forced to live a life full of drugs and prositution and circus acts because she couldn’t overcome the pee bullies. Poor thing. The end.

Once upon a time, at a lake, there were these children playing outside with Calamine lotion. and the one of the mean step brothers squirted the lotion into the sweet pretty sisters mouth. When she told her mother, the mother said..”oh did your mouth itch?” And the girl needed therapy.

Once upon a time at that same lake on the same day a girl was swimming with her 3 brothers and some friends.  The mean brothers told the girl to put her head under water and listen to all the hissing and that the hissing was snakes in the water. So the girl got really afraid and floated on her back in water that was a hardly a foot deep so that she would not have to have her feet in the muddy lake floor and yelled for her step dad. The girl needed more therapy. .

One day, long ago, a girl would hide scissors and flashlights in the closets in the house when her step brothers would come over because they would practice their wrestling moves on her and her brother and then tie her up and put her in the closet. 

A girl once had a circular scar on her arm from the high pressured dusting spray.  Her stepbrother sprayed it on her arm from a close distance. And it burned her. This same stepbrother chased this poor girl around the house with hairspray and a lighter. She did not get burned from that because she could run fast.

4 out of these 7 stories may or may not have been true and that girl may or may not have been me. and that girl has still not received any therapy. But she’s mostly normal.


Posted on June 13, 2011, in just life and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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