I’m the worst wife ever.

I have 2 reasons to support this title:

1. I lost the letter my husband wrote me the day before the wedding. Well, technically I didn’t lose it. I know exactly where it is. In the dumpster at the W Hotel. Yep. I’m the moron who read it, set it on the bedside table, and then ate cake. I forgot it was there so when my husband asked me “did you get everything” as we left, I cheerfully said “yep!”. Yeah. I’m banging my head on the table for this one. I cried when I got home and realized it wasn’t in my purse or my suitcase. It was my idea to write these beautiful letters to each other before our wedding, and give them to each other on our wedding day and of course I lost the freakin letter. That’s so me. So awfully me.

1.5. (because 1. reminded me of something else that makes me a terrible wife and I really have a reason #2 so I just stuck this one in the middle). Technically, this happened while I was a fiance still so he can’t ever say he didn’t know what he was getting into. Before Christmas, I pointed out this awesome ceramic (<–foreshadowing) coffee mug. It was Starbucks brand and it was amazing. I can't exactly explain why it was so awesome but I just loved it and I wanted it. So, for Christmas, my wonderful husband went to 9 different Starbucks (duh, different, because why would he go to the same Starbucks 9 times) to look for the mug. Finally he found one and it probably cost a fortune. WELL, good ol' me took it on a road trip over New Years weekend (yes. 1 week after Christmas) and my purse attacked it and knocked it out of the car. Of course it shattered because concrete is not made out of carpet. I cried. I would have rather broken my toe. That's how bad I felt.

2. My husband wants a Black Dodge Challenger more than he probably wants me, and I can't get him one because I'm not made of money nor do I know how to rob banks or steal cars. So, for eternity he will want this Challenger and I will want to buy it for him to make up for points 1 and 1.5 but I won't be able to. If we weren't moving, maybe we could get one. If we weren't planning to have babies, maybe we could get one (I hear babies are expensive, so they beat out the car). If I had a paid off car, we could get one but no…in 2008 I just HAD to get a new car when my trusty Honda was almost paid off. Now I have a stupid car with door handles that are stupid and I'm paying a monthly fee for it.

I'm sorry dear. I'm sorry I lost your incredibly sweet letter that made me cry good tears on our wedding night and I'm sorry I broke the mug that probably cost you as much as the monthly payment on a Challenger, and I'm sorry I can't buy you your dream car. If I had a successful blog maybe some charitable person would donate a car, but I don't (yet) so for now, we will just have to be happy with no car, no coffee mug, and no letter.

My bad.

PS. I feel confident that my husband does not think that I'm the worst wife ever. In fact, he does not care that I lost the letter, or broke the mug and I'm pretty sure he chose me over the Challenger without any resentment because he loves me and he's awesome. I totally love him back.


Posted on January 20, 2012, in I'm kind of serious., just life, random thoughts, The Most Wonderful Chris and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Hmm I’d have to think that you weren’t even in the running for worst wife ever.

  2. Or cheating…don’t forget about the cheaters.

  3. I believe you are the most amazinging wife ever. I can buy another coffe mug. Just a material item. The letter is what we know to be in our hearts. We live that letter. I would pick you over my black challenger any day. Maybe after we have kids well work on that challenger 😉

    • Basically. I love you.

      But I still want another mug even though my purse broke it. And i still want another letter even though the hotel hid it from me. And you can have a challenger…someday.

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