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Category Archives: just life

Why I couldn’t be a murderer

Other than the fact that it’s wrong and illegal and stuff, this is why I could never take a human life:

I was leaving church and there was a frog in the exit of the parking lot. I tried to go over it where it was in the middle of my car but I’m pretty sure when my front tires passed it, it jumped and my back tire got him.  I got out to check on him after I passed him and he was smashed. By me! I killed him!! He probably had a family. He was just hopping along being all froggy and here I came, a big giant murderer and ended it for him.

And then I Cried.

Don’t you love how I take like a year off from blogging, come back and blog about murder again? Welcome back y’all. (I hope there is a y’all I’m talking to and that I’m not just blogging to myself. At least I know Kristin will read this. Hi!)

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Let’s just hope they don’t make a Zombie Vaccine

Don’t they say that we create the future that’s predicted? Like when people predict trouble in the stock market, people start selling their stocks which basically causes the crash they predicted? What if all this Zombie talk has scientists in their labs trying to create zombies? I know there’s that flower that makes zombie ants, so I bet there are scientists out there trying to replicate it in rats or something.  I think we should all keep an eye on the local rats to make sure they aren’t running around all dead and stuff.  I’m sure they’ll say they’re trying to come up with possibilities for how they’ll be created so they can cure the zombie disease when it actually happens.  But that’s not true…Did they not learn from Frankenstein? Science CAN go wrong, and it CAN become something you can’t control.  I hope the government has some sanctions on zombie creating…in fact, if the military is having zombie training exercises then I bet they already know the hows and the whens of the upcoming zombie apocalypse. The government is sneaky like that.  Guess I should get some zombie bullets, and some various weaponry in case of an outbreak.  I read that the safest place to go would be a military base so perhaps I’ll do that….I hope they have twinkies…wait…nevermind.

Maybe they will make a vaccine you can get to prevent you from getting the zombie bug…like the flu shot. But if it works anything like the flu shot they have now,  then the vaccine will just cause the zombie apocalypse because I’m pretty sure the vaccine for the flu causes the darn flu.  I’m sort of anti flu shot, if you haven’t guessed.

I just googled Zombie Rats and found that they do exist….are you kidding me, science??

Excuse me, sir, but your tail is showing

I thought the weird people in California were in the major cities, but apparently I was mistaken.  Santa Barbara has interesting people, too.  It’s a beautiful city, and when I’m walking near the beach I should have been paying attention to the beautiful ocean and the shops, and the artists along the street, but no, I was distracted by the man with the tail in front of me.

I didn’t know squirrels wore flip flops

He looks like a perfectly normal dude walking down the street until you pan down towards the ground and see the tail.  Why? Why does he have a tail? I should have pulled it to see if it was real.  I wonder what he would have done…would he hit me? Yell at me? Scratch me with his hidden squirrel hands?  Maybe he should be on the My Strange Addiction show…maybe it’s deeper than just the tail.  It’s not like it was a full moon or anything, it was the  middle of the afternoon. Yes I know I’m posting this in October, near Halloween, but this picture was taken in August so you can’t argue that he was just dressing up for the holiday.

Every marriage needs a healthy dose of fear

When I recently wrote about how badly I want a kitten, I really didn’t think Chris took my kitten threat seriously. However, yesterday he told me that he has stress because every day when he comes home he doesn’t know if there is going to be a kitten here. I am not really sure where or how this came up in our conversation over dinner, but it did and it was wonderful. It’s good to have something in your life to keep you on your toes. I’m home alone all day, so it is fully possible that I will find a kitten on my lunchtime run, or maybe I’ll be buying dog food at the pet store and they’ll be having a kitten sale. I actually found a kitten when we were on vacation in California a few days ago. I was mid conversation in the kitchen with a couple family members, and I saw this little black and white ball of adorable walk across the sitting area outside and I said Ohhh Kitten, and walked outside. I fully expected the cat to run from me because they usually do, but this one meowed a sad little sound and let me play with it! It was so cute and sweet and you could tell that it recently had a human family because you could see the indentation in it’s fur from a collar. I would pet it, and it would roll back on it’s back and play with me and even today I am reminded of my little furry friend when I look at the scratches all over my hand. Cats are fiesty like that. They’re like oh I love you, pet me but don’t get to comfortable, remember I have sharp claws, see? I told Chris I needed to find a way to smuggle it on the airplane. I could just zip it up in my giant purse and be like shhhh kitty, just stay here under the seat, we’ll be home soon. And then we would live happily every after.

I mean, I doubt he would kill a kitten.

After my wonderful cat, Otis, ran away to live some wonderful, fancy life with his cat friends (at least that’s what I tell myself happened to him) I was kind of OK with only having dogs for awhile. I was about to get married, and move away and I knew that our future land lord would prefer if his new tenants only came with two dogs and that the move would be easier with just two animals. However, lately I have been really wanting a snuggly little kitten. One I can let sleep on my head, and purr in my ear. So I decided to broach the subject with Chris.

Me: I want a kitten
Chris: No. Sorry.
Me: But they’re so cute. And I miss cuddling with Otis <—- that part was me trying to get him to feel bad for my loss
Chris: Jake and Max will cuddle
Me: When we own our own home, I will be more persistent.

That was the end of that conversation, but I was not kidding about being more persistent/annoying about it in the future. However, I started thinking (dangerous ground, I know) if I got a kitten…an ADORABLE, AWESOME kitten, what’s he going to do about it? Sure, he’ll be mad and he might try to convince Max it’s a chew toy, but seriously, he’s not going to leave me or kill the kitten. He would just have to deal with the new addition to our family. He would fall in love with that kitten, he just doesn’t know it yet. That cat will become his best friend. That’s probably what he’s afraid of. He’s afraid he will love that kitten so much that he won’t have any more room in his heart for me. But it’s ok honey, I know that a cute kitten can steal your heart and I won’t take offense. He hasn’t been around cats enough to know that they can be really freakin’ awesome creatures. If they weren’t, there wouldn’t be an LOLCats website with tons of funny cat pictures. Cat’s are awesome and if you don’t realize that, then you yourself are not awesome.

Anyway, I’m going to get a kitten and I’m going to hide it in the house, and when Chris finds it, I will just tell him it’s an odd looking dog with a strange sounding bark that I inherited from a relative I didn’t know I had, but I have to keep it because it’s family.

Shhhh…don’t tell Chris.

Come Back! I just want to save you!

Why is it that everytime I see a stray dog I can’t find it when I go back to save it? Seriously, I just want to help them and they either run away from me or disappear. Last time I was in Dallas, I was driving home from work and saw a really sickly, starving puppy on the side of the highway. It was so close to the busy road, I wanted to get it in my car and take it to a shelter or wait with it until someone could come get it. I had just been to the store to get dog food for my dog, so I had it in the car and was going to feed the puppy. So, I circle around, but it takes awhile because it’s 2 highways intersecting, so it’s complicated getting back around. By the time I get there, the puppy is laying in the big grassy area between the highway and the service road. So I pull over, and get out of the car. Immediately the puppy gets up and I think yay! he’s going to come to me! But no, he runs away. He wants no part of the rescuing and it breaks my heart. So I find the number to animal control and of course they make it so complicated to report an animal, and one of the questions they ask is “is it a pitbull?” What the heck, I don’t know (but I think it was). If he is a pitbull, are you just going to let him die out here? Why does that matter? Then the lady says well, the repsonse time on something like this is 3 days. 3 DAYS? Completely ridiculous.

Today, I drove out of my street and saw 2 dogs coming out a nearby neighborhood. They looked well taken care of but didn’t have a collar. I was heading to the fitness center in the neighborhood, so I pulled into the parking lot to google the animal control people but I realized that the visitor center was right by me and they should have important phone #’s so I went over there. First thing the lady says is, well, you can put a posting on our neighborhood website that you found these dogs, but I don’t know how soon anyone would see that…Totally not helpful lady. Seriously? It’s going to be 95 degrees today. Then she gives me the animal control number. It’s been maybe 5 minutes since I saw the dogs so I decide to go look for them as I call animal control. I described the dogs and hopefully they’ll find them. And hopefully they’ll be chipped so their owner can be found. Anyway, I can’t find the dogs anywhere. I drove all over the close neighborhoods looking for them and they were nowhere. There was a school right near where I last saw them so hopefully they just went to play with the kids. That’s what I’ll believe. I should have just picked them up the minute I saw them and THEN tried to call the animal people. Lesson learned.

I also like to rescue turtles that try to cross the street but haven’t quite made it. The first one I saw was on his back next to the curb, so we pulled over, I got out and put the turtle in the grass. The second one I saw was walking across the road, so we stopped so I could hop out and carry it to the grass. As soon as I got out and put my hands on the turtle shell it turned toward me and started running at me and towards the middle of the road. Of course I shrieked and jumped and then I felt stupid because it’s a turtle, they’re totally not frightening creatures. So I tried to get the turtle again but contrary to common belief, that turtle was FAST and cars were starting to come down the road and we didn’t want to cause a traffic jam, so I just got back in the truck, and gave up because clearly the turtle wanted to be in the street. It was probably suicidal and didn’t appreaciate my help which is why he tried to chase me. I did notice as we pulled away that another car was stopping to try to help the turtle. I wonder if the turtle tried to attack them, too.

One more, but this doesn’t really count because it’s a plant and not something that can run away from me. A few days ago I saw a flowery plant laying on the side of the road in my neighborhood, and it looked like it had just been plucked out of the ground, so I continue to drive about 10 feet, and I see a hole in the middle of the landscaped area where that plant clearly came from. So I pull over, get the plant and re-plant it where it went. I don’t know why I feel the need to do things like this, but I didn’t like the idea that the plant had just been pulled out of the ground, and was left there to die. Our neighborhood landscape is pretty and I want to keep it that way. So anyway, I drove past it the next day, and that plant was laid over all wilted. Oh well, at least I tried.

High Fives for Everybody

When someone in your life passes on, it makes you think about life and death and what type of impact you’re making on the people in your life. It makes you think of how people will speak of you when your time comes. It makes you wonder how you are being viewed by the people around you. I want to make an impression on the people in my life. I want to be known as someone who had a great deal of patience with others, was kind-hearted and was a spot of sunshine in the lives of those I’ve encountered. I want to be an inspiration to others, and show that having a heart full of Christ is awesome and changes life (and death) for the better.

I also want to be remembered for being funny and finding the humor in all things.

When this life of mine is no more, I want to be positioned in the casket with my right hand up so everyone that comes up can give me high-five. When people walk past my body at the end of the funeral, they will want to cry because I’m sure life without me in it will be unbearable, but then they will be like, Oh she’s giving me a high-five. That’s cool. And they’ll laugh and think “that Sara, always makin’ me laugh, she’s so ridiculous”. And then they’ll tell Chris that I was probably joking when I said I want to be in the casket with my hand up for high-five’s but it’s ok, because it WAS pretty funny and I’m probably laughing from heaven, telling Jesus that I just got 500 people to high-five my dead body. Yes, 500 people will miss me enough to come to my funeral. If only 50 people show up, then my family needs to go out and find 450 more people and bring them along to mourn me. I mean high five me.

I need a dream interpreter over here. And also some cupcakes.

I wish I understood dreams and what makes some insanely strange. Last nights dream was super odd and actually had me laughing when I woke up.

I was at church with my mom and I was singing with the praise team. We are singing and I looked down in the congregation and my ex from like 9 years ago was sitting with my sister, and he mouthed at me “do you have any change” and I was like what? yeah, hold on, but I was thinking I’m singing right now, why are you asking me about change? And then he was gone.

Then all of a sudden someones phone went off (it was the robot sound on the iPhone) and I was like oh my gosh who has their phone on up here? It should be on silent. Then I realize I can’t hear any of the music anymore because the robot sound is so loud. Whose phone is it? It’s my mom’s phone. So I grab her phone off the piano and turn it to silent but the sound didn’t stop. So people are singing and I couldn’t turn it off, IT WOULDN’T FREAKIN STOP, so we took it out of the church and gave it to this girl Andy from the church I used to go to and she was trying to get it to stop and she couldn’t make it shut up either. It was making her read every calendar reminder that existed on the phone, and somehow it became her phone, and she was like I NEED THESE REMINDERS so she wouldn’t let me cancel them, she was just rescheduling the reminders and they were dots on a map, like the alarm was based on a city where the bill was due and IT WOULDN’T STOP ALARMING. So I let her deal with it and I went back into the sanctuary to finish the song because it was such a good song but I couldn’t hear the verse they were on because I could only hear the alarm so I was putting my ear close to the mouths of the people singing but I still couldn’t hear them. So they kept repeating one verse over and over so I could figure it out but then then I argued with the choir director (it was a tall red headed woman and her hair was puffy. It was not the current choir director at my moms church, because that would make sense) because she had a deep voice so I said I’ll sing the soprano on this part and and she was like no, I’m soprano so I said are you kidding me? you have a deep voice! no way, you’re out of your mind.

And then I woke up and my stupid alarm had been going off for 11 minutes.

I described this dream to my mom and she reminded me that a choir director they used to have at church, like a decade ago, was a red headed lady with a deep voice.

Also, I’m a coward

So, while I’m interested/obsessed with violent shows, when approached with a real life situation, I do nothing.

Real Life Example from years ago:

I lived at home and I was in my bedroom, fairly late at night, probably half asleep and I heard a gun shot coming from my parents room. So I creep out of my bedroom, down the hall to see if everything is ok…I get to the bedroom door and listen. I hear nothing. Then I start thinking oh my gosh, what if someone broke in? What would I do? If I walk in that room and confront a burgler, I won’t walk out alive. I’m not cut out for danger. I mean seriously, if they got my dad, who has guns and military training then what am I gonna do? I only have fists and knees and screams. I can’t protect the family.

So I went back to bed. I guess just to wait and see if the killer came and got me? Who knows. I should have ran out of the house. I really don’t know what I was thinking just going to bed. Maybe I thought it was just a dream. But it wasn’t and I know this because a couple days later I remembered the gunshot and asked my parents about it and it turns out my dad fired his gun by accident. He was cleaning it in the proper way where you have the gun pointed down and away from your body and it fired through the edge of the bed. So yeah, I totally DID hear a gun shot, and I totally did NOTHING about it. Because I’m a coward.

I’ve been obsessed with death for a long time apparently

If you’ve ever been reading my blog and wondered “where did her obsession with violence come from?” Well I think I figured it out.

You know those Childrens Bibles that are always in the Doctors office? They’re like large and blue? Well, mine were. I don’t know what color your doctor office childrens Bibles were. When I would go to the doctor as a child, I would always flip straight to the Abraham and Issac story where Abraham follows the direction of God and takes Isaac up to Mt. Moriah to sacrifice him. The picture was of Isaac laying on the altar and Abraham standing over him holding a knife above his head. If you don’t know the story, don’t worry, God stopped Abraham before he killed him. It’s a good story, look it up.

So, apparently I was obsessed with death (threat of death) even as a child. Now I watch Law and Order episodes every day. I love to watch murder mystery shows. I expect danger everywhere. I see things out of place or hear strange noises and assume the worst. I saw a little hack saw in the wooded area while I was jogging yesterday and I looked around for a body. I try to come up with scenarios for what could have happened. So yeah, I’m basically out of my mind and have always been that way.