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And this is why I need adult supervision

I shouldn’t be left alone for an extended period of time. I’m bound to break things and injure myself. One time when I was left alone I stabbed myself in the hand. It was not good. It sounds worse than it is. There was hardly any blood but I still have a scar.

This time was no different. Except it didn’t include a knife. Chris has a lamp…had a lamp….that has been sitting on my dresser unplugged since we moved. Two nights ago, I decided to plug it in and use it since I’m afraid of the dark and he wasn’t home. Night #1, success. Light worked fine. Night #2…I decided to move the bed to vacuum under it (trying to do something awesome) and the lamp fell off the window sill. It broke into like 50 pieces. I seriously broke this lamp after using it for ONE day. ONE. I shouldn’t even be surprised. So, I cleaned it up, and texted Chris that I broke his lamp but that he can’t be mad because it’s just who I am, and he married me, so he’s stuck. His only reply “I’ve had that lamp for 6 years”. Whoa, my bad. I’ll glue it back together. He says just throw it away, but I thought it would be funny if I did glue it back together anyway. So, I’m almost done super gluing it back together, and of course my fingers are covered in super glue because who can use super glue without getting covered in it? Seriously, introduce me to that person. Anyway, it’s got like 3 pieces left to glue and in true Sara fashion, I cut my finger. A finger that had glue on it. Extra ouch! The same finger that once almost got chopped off by a ceiling fan. But since the piece that cut me had just had glue put on it, I did not want to waste my efforts, so before I took the bleeding to the sink, I made sure to get that piece back on the lamp. I start cleaning my finger, and then I start getting dizzy. Seriously, me? Light headed over this little bit of blood? What’s wrong with me? I still have to take a shower, so if I get in that hot water, I’m certainly gonna pass out. I really need supervision.

Here’s the proof:

Look how close I was to getting it all glued back? Look closely and you can see the 2 pieces I had left.

That's my blood. And the finger with the cut. It's that red line on my finger that you can hardly see because it really wasn't that serious but it HURT dangit

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Updated: When your job is to give me internet, I expect to have internet.

This is long, and I’m sorry, but it’s a rant, and sometimes ranting takes a little time.

2 weeks ago, I signed up for TV with Direct TV (yay! they don’t suck!) and decided to bundle with an internet company. I was hoping to have internet within a day or so since the TV guy came the next day but the bundle lady at direct tv said, “ok, well we sent your information over to the internet company and they will contact you within 24 hours with your account information and schedule a time to get it setup”. Um. Ok. But I need internet NOW. Whatever, I’ll wait the 24 hours.

24 hours came and went

48 hours came and went, so I made a phone call.

First, to the internet company. But then their automated phone service asked me to press 1 if I was an existing customer, and 2 if I am a new customer. Um. Crap. I am an existing customer…I think…but I have no information to prove that. So…I hit 2. That lady couldn’t find me in the system under my name, social, or address. So, nope, not a customer yet. So I call Direct TV back. They said, well, we sent your info…nothing we can do. Have you called the internet people? Yes, dude, I called them. They don’t know me. So he gives me a different # to call which routes me to the same # I originally called and the internet people told me again…we don’t have any info about you lady. So now I’m annoyed and defeated so I say, “I don’t even want internet anymore, so I guess I’ll just wait and see if I ever hear from you guys with the account information I was supposed to have 24 hours ago”

WELL, on the 13th (144 hours later if you’re keeping up) I get an email from the internet company. It says I should have service by the 16th. Yeah, whatever. .Ok. Well, I got a package at 6pm on the 16th from the internet company with the modem and all the hookups in it. UM THIS IS WHAT “YOU WILL HAVE SERVICE BY THE 16th” MEANT? Are you freaking kidding me right now?…They weren’t kidding. They wanted ME to hook it up. with barely a page of instruction on how to do so. I also want to to point out that I paid like $30 in fees that I thought were setup fees. Because I thought someone would be coming to my house to handle this crap for me. I guess it just cost $30 to ship and handle a 2 lb box so I could do the work myself.

At this point I’m so dang mad I don’t even want to set it up. So I don’t. I leave it in the box.

Until Today. Today is the 20th. I decided to hook it up today, because the free internet that just popped up when we “searched for wireless networks” just stopped working. Just like it did the day I panicked and ordered stupid internet that we pay for. So I go to hook it up. I’m smart, so it was pretty easy to get it all hooked up the right way. So, I have internet! Yay! So I go to the website to finish the Installation Steps it tells me to do and the first step is “enter the phone number associated with this account. Ok, I enter my cell #. Nope. That’s not it. Awesome. That is THE ONLY number I have. So I call them. So, apparently, with this internet comes a phone line (that I specifically remember saying I don’t want). The lady gives me the # and says well as long as you have a dial tone, your internet will work. So I say….Um I don’t even have a phone to check and see if I have a dial tone. Anyway, she tests it, it works, so I hang up to complete installation. No sooner do I hang up and click “next” on the screen and it says “we can’t find your account”. So I call. AGAIN. I am beyond frustrated at this point. This guy is nice, get’s it all fixed and my internet works. Yay!! I’m happy again. Kinda.

1 HOUR LATER:

No internet. None. All the blinky lights on the modem are on EXCEPT the internet one. Awesome. Another phone call. This time I have to be on hold for way to long. I’m not frustrated anymore. I’m MAD. Finally get a guy on the phone and he says oh, I see what the problem is….they’re working on the internet in your area, so it’s down. I work from home, yo, I can’t have the internet down. So I ask, how long will it be down? His reply: it should be back by 6pm. 6PM?! WHAT?! So, was I going to be notified? His reply: well, I’m really glad you called so I could let you know that it’s going to be down. Holy crap dude, you’ve got to be messing with me now. I ask him: does your company ever notify it’s customers when there will be outages like this? He said, no, I wish we did, but we just don’t. So, I simply say, Ok, well then I guess there is nothing I can do. Thank you. Have a good day.

because even when I’m raging mad, I’m still to freakin’ nice.

Update: I found out that they have a 30 day cancellation policy aka Satisfaction Guarantee so I cancelled. The last straw was when my entire computer was running slower than a snails pace while I was trying to work. So, just for grins, I switched over to that unsecured free network and my whole system began running 100% faster. So for now we will just go back to relying on the free Internet I referenced above and on the days it’s feeling moody I’ll just go find myself a sweet little seat at Starbucks or whataburger or burger king. Heck, I’ll rotate between them if the outage lasts that long. All of that sounds more appealing than paying for something that is unreliable and frustrating.

Also, the company is Century Link. HA. You made me mad enough to go ahead and say your name. Wanna know how? You’re stupid automated phone calls started up again today to do a survey about my recent phone call with Century Link. My recent phone call was a CANCELLATION so I’m pretty sure you don’t want me to do a survey right now.

I think I forgot how to be funny

Seriously, my brain is busted.  It doesn’t work.  I just realized I have been talking to someone at work, and had NO idea what his name is, only to find out that it’s someone in charge of stuff and I had NO idea.  Now I’m trying to think back to every conversation I’ve EVER had with him to make sure I haven’t said anything stupid.  Who knows, I’m sure I have.  Holy crap and was I WAY off on this guy.  Thought he was short – he’s tall.  Beard? Nope, bald.  What the heck! Wow..I just need to start paying attention I guess. 

CPR cat, you are not alone.

other reasons why I’m my brain is busted? hm…I was making a phone call and when they answered it scared me because I forgot I was on the phone and then I stumbled through my question.  brain = broken….I remember there WERE other moments in this last week where I thought “oh…girl…you are an idiot’…just can’t remember what they were.

Do you have any examples of my brain being broken this week?  What about yours?  Please share….