If you’re one of the everybody who has self diagnosed ADD, then you will know exactly what I’m talking about. Here’s the scenario: You’re in the middle of doing something, get distracted by something and your focus changes, then halfway through your new project you get bored but now you’re in too deep so you just have to finish it and/or figure out a way to get someone else to do it for you.
NO? Just me? hmm..
Anyway, here are the 4 phases of ADD according to me:
1. Ohhh shiny
2. That would be way more fun than what I’m currently doing
3. This was a Terrible idea
4. Chris, I’m sore, will you finish this for me?
We have a walkway to the front door, and on the left side there is a tiny little area with a few sad looking rocks and dirt and a lot of weeds. Not weed. Sorry potheads, this is not the blog for you. They were regular ol’ annoying weeds. So I started pulling weeds. Halfway through the weed pulling, I discovered something that looked like a mushroom in the dirt. Not hallucinogenic mushrooms. THIS IS NOT A BLOG ABOUT DRUGS. STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT THAT WAY. So, I started to dig out the mushroom looking thing to see what it was because it looked like it was everywhere. Instead of mushrooms, I found rocks. Not cocaine rocks. Why do I even have to keep clarifying these things? I decided I would dig them up since I had been contemplating stealing the rocks in the neighbors entry way. I thought I would just find a few rocks, but there were like 100, so I decided to start digging back at the beginning where the weed pulling began.
Halfway through the rock digging I was bored again and didn’t want to dig up any more rocks. My hands were hurting, the was dirt under my nails, and I was pretty sure Chris was not going to be amused at my discovery and the now large mess that I probably wasn’t going to clean up, so I go inside to get a drink of water fully expecting a barage of questions, like what have you been doing outside for the last half hour? Were there that many weeds? Why are your hands covered in dirt? But I got no questions. Hardly even a look. Nothing. So I said “I found a lot of rocks” and walked back outside to put gloves on and continue The Great Rock Excavation of 2012. It’s a good thing I put on the gloves, because I almost imediately found an angry looking red centipede. I don’t trust anything with that many legs.
After digging up all the rocks (yes, this IS a really long story about how I dug up some rocks, I agree) I realized that I had also dug up a lot of dirt and it was all over the rocks and sidewalk. It’s ok, I’ll just hose off the rocks and hose the dirt back in the dirt area. HA. Bad idea. Turns out, when you hose off dirt, it just turns into brown water and goes wherever the heck it wants to. Which is all over my ankles. And then the dirt area turns into a brown river and you have to wait for it to dry before you can put the rocks back. THIS is really bad for my ADD because then I have to WAIT. Which most assuredly means I will get distracted by something else before the dirt dries and THAT is when I’ll tell Chris that I lost all feeling in my arms and can most definitely not put all those rocks back and since he’s outside mowing, it just makes sense that he just put them all back whenever he gets done.
Oh! I found a snake skin (because I did do the cleaning up, that part about me telling Chris to finish was a lie…my bad). It wasn’t that long, but that’s probably because the snake only shed half of his skin to make me think I don’t have anything to fear. I’m on to you snake.