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Excuse me, sir, but your tail is showing

I thought the weird people in California were in the major cities, but apparently I was mistaken.  Santa Barbara has interesting people, too.  It’s a beautiful city, and when I’m walking near the beach I should have been paying attention to the beautiful ocean and the shops, and the artists along the street, but no, I was distracted by the man with the tail in front of me.

I didn’t know squirrels wore flip flops

He looks like a perfectly normal dude walking down the street until you pan down towards the ground and see the tail.  Why? Why does he have a tail? I should have pulled it to see if it was real.  I wonder what he would have done…would he hit me? Yell at me? Scratch me with his hidden squirrel hands?  Maybe he should be on the My Strange Addiction show…maybe it’s deeper than just the tail.  It’s not like it was a full moon or anything, it was the  middle of the afternoon. Yes I know I’m posting this in October, near Halloween, but this picture was taken in August so you can’t argue that he was just dressing up for the holiday.

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Every marriage needs a healthy dose of fear

When I recently wrote about how badly I want a kitten, I really didn’t think Chris took my kitten threat seriously. However, yesterday he told me that he has stress because every day when he comes home he doesn’t know if there is going to be a kitten here. I am not really sure where or how this came up in our conversation over dinner, but it did and it was wonderful. It’s good to have something in your life to keep you on your toes. I’m home alone all day, so it is fully possible that I will find a kitten on my lunchtime run, or maybe I’ll be buying dog food at the pet store and they’ll be having a kitten sale. I actually found a kitten when we were on vacation in California a few days ago. I was mid conversation in the kitchen with a couple family members, and I saw this little black and white ball of adorable walk across the sitting area outside and I said Ohhh Kitten, and walked outside. I fully expected the cat to run from me because they usually do, but this one meowed a sad little sound and let me play with it! It was so cute and sweet and you could tell that it recently had a human family because you could see the indentation in it’s fur from a collar. I would pet it, and it would roll back on it’s back and play with me and even today I am reminded of my little furry friend when I look at the scratches all over my hand. Cats are fiesty like that. They’re like oh I love you, pet me but don’t get to comfortable, remember I have sharp claws, see? I told Chris I needed to find a way to smuggle it on the airplane. I could just zip it up in my giant purse and be like shhhh kitty, just stay here under the seat, we’ll be home soon. And then we would live happily every after.

Hey, do you know anything about snakes?

That’s not something I wanted to hear while riding my bike. Chris and I have gotten into this wonderful bike riding habit. It’s great because we are working out and we’re spending time together (when I’m not miles ahead of him..ha). It’s also great because we are able to explore this new neighborhood we live in.

Take yesterday for example. We had 20 minutes left on the bike ride, we came across this bridge and this woman asked “Do you know anything about snakes?” In my head, I’m thinking, just keep going, pedal harder, if she’s asking about snakes, there’s probably a snake. Outloud, Chris says, “yeah, a little.”

Crap.

So we stop, and she points to the water and says, see that snake? It’s not a coral snake, I see those all the time. This one is black with yellow rings, no red. I’ve never seen that kind before. This is one of the smaller snakes I’ve seen though.
This is where I stopped her. I said “wow, we are new to the neighborhood and you’re freakin’ me out with all this snake information”. So she continues with, do you get the neighborhood emails? The ones about the Ferrel Hogs? That’s my neighbor’s house. We’ve caught 8 so far.

Listen lady, I’m allowed to live here, too. Please stop trying to scare us out of your neighborhood with all these wild animals that will kill me.

Then she points past the bridge to this really open area and says “there’s a big pond back there, we see wildlife all the time. Deer, Bald Eagles, etc…. There’s a path that will take you back there and all around the pond. You should check it out, it’s really pretty”.

So what do we do with the knowledge that there’s a (small) snake below us, and Ferrell hogs, and other wildlife lurking nearby? We take the trail and go around the pond. While we’re riding up the path, I hear Chris say “I’m going to start carrying a knife on these bike rides”. So I laugh, and he follows it up with “Ferrell hogs will kill you” ..or something like that, I’m not really sure because I was laughing…and then I asked “so, what do you think you are going to do with your tiny little pocket knife against a Ferrell hog?” His wonderful, loving reply: “it’s better than nothing, I just have to make sure I run faster than you.”

Thanks Dear.

P.S. Google thinks it’s a California King Snake of some sort. I don’t know exactly what that means, but if I dissect the name, California is artsy and liberal, Kings rule things, and well it’s a snake. So it’s probably some snake that wears weird clothes, drinks Starbucks, and thinks he’s the boss of everything..

Next time, I’m stealing a squirrel.

Ok…stealing is not the right word.  Relocating.  Next time, I’m relocating a squirrel.  Preferrably a pregnant one so I can get like a twofer…or a however- many-babies-a-squirrel-has-fer. Yes, this is another blog about California: On the side of Pacific Coast Highway, we saw a sign for “Elephant Seal Lookout Point”.  Heck yeah! Let’s look at some giant seals!  What we didn’t expect was all the coastal squirrels that would greet us as we got out of the car:

yum. I bet he was “droppin it like it’s hot” after this

Should be a commercial. Starring Martin the Squirrel.

curious little squirrel.. i should have snatched him up

 

Oh yeah, Elephant Seals…That’s why we pulled over right? I guess I should include a picture…

 UPDATED:  SunDrop’s new commercial is about Squirrels and Sundrop.  WHAT!? How did they NOT contact me about this? HEY, SUNDROP!! YOU SHOULD HAVE USED MY SQUIRREL PICTURES FOR YOUR COMMERCIAL..or me because I LOVE Sundrop.  Anyway, I hope one day sundrop is available everywhere and that all people in the world get a chance to taste the wonderful goodness of Sun Drop (diet, or regular).  This is my wish for the world.  Also that they all know Jesus.

Water Conservation > Sanitation

I went to California last week and made a stop at a little shop on the side of Pacific Coast Highway…in the bathroom I found a peculiar sign:
 
So…would you rather me NOT wash my hands?

Um…I thought the sign in the bathroom USUALLY said “employees must wash hands” or something along those lines.  NOT in California.  They conserve water out there. 

So as I’m washing my hands I’m thinking..um ok, am I supposed to wash my hands? Or not? Conserve water = don’t use this sink? Or use if fast? In that case, what about the rule that I’m supposed to sing the alphabet or happy birthday song to myself while I wash to make sure I wash long enough to kill the germs?  As you can see I was very bothered by this little broken sign.  Oh…broken because maybe the shop saw the confusion it was causing so they tried to remove it but the glue was to sticky? Maybe.  Either way, I washed my hands and killed the germs and took this picture.
 
Updated: I see that the sign is held on by screws, so my glue theory is shot.  So, whatever California…suck it up…I washed my hands and used your water.  You have the ocean, there’s a lot of water in there to replenish what I used.