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And then he asked me to get him a martini

Zebra print is so in. Especially when an 11 pound Dachshund is wearing it.

Or..sleeping in it.

<german accent> hello, I am Jake. <end german accent>

Look at him, he doesn’t even look amused. He’s like pahleeze. Will you stop with the pictures? I’m just laying here. Oh, whatever, I guess just continue on. I’m adorable, I should be used to these photos by now. Just make sure I’m covered, I sleep in the nude for goodness sake.



The dogs would probably like me more if I knew German

This thought originated with the following sentences: I want to speak another language right now. And I want the dogs to understand me.

Then I realized that both our dogs are German, so obviously I need to learn German. Maybe that would make Max less angry. Maybe he’s mad that no one respects his language enough to learn it. Or maybe he’s mad that all the signs are in English. Or maybe he’s mad that we don’t let him wear hats. Do Germans wear hats? I feel like they do. I’ve been to Germany, but it was a long time ago, so I don’t remember. Time out. I just realized I know a word (1, one, single, uno) in German. “NO”. <– that was english, don't get confused. I know how to say no in German. Next time the dogs act out, I'll yell NO in German and see if they respond better. I'll let you know. Actually, I probably won't because I'll forget or lose interest before I even publish this.