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Every marriage needs a healthy dose of fear

When I recently wrote about how badly I want a kitten, I really didn’t think Chris took my kitten threat seriously. However, yesterday he told me that he has stress because every day when he comes home he doesn’t know if there is going to be a kitten here. I am not really sure where or how this came up in our conversation over dinner, but it did and it was wonderful. It’s good to have something in your life to keep you on your toes. I’m home alone all day, so it is fully possible that I will find a kitten on my lunchtime run, or maybe I’ll be buying dog food at the pet store and they’ll be having a kitten sale. I actually found a kitten when we were on vacation in California a few days ago. I was mid conversation in the kitchen with a couple family members, and I saw this little black and white ball of adorable walk across the sitting area outside and I said Ohhh Kitten, and walked outside. I fully expected the cat to run from me because they usually do, but this one meowed a sad little sound and let me play with it! It was so cute and sweet and you could tell that it recently had a human family because you could see the indentation in it’s fur from a collar. I would pet it, and it would roll back on it’s back and play with me and even today I am reminded of my little furry friend when I look at the scratches all over my hand. Cats are fiesty like that. They’re like oh I love you, pet me but don’t get to comfortable, remember I have sharp claws, see? I told Chris I needed to find a way to smuggle it on the airplane. I could just zip it up in my giant purse and be like shhhh kitty, just stay here under the seat, we’ll be home soon. And then we would live happily every after.

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I mean, I doubt he would kill a kitten.

After my wonderful cat, Otis, ran away to live some wonderful, fancy life with his cat friends (at least that’s what I tell myself happened to him) I was kind of OK with only having dogs for awhile. I was about to get married, and move away and I knew that our future land lord would prefer if his new tenants only came with two dogs and that the move would be easier with just two animals. However, lately I have been really wanting a snuggly little kitten. One I can let sleep on my head, and purr in my ear. So I decided to broach the subject with Chris.

Me: I want a kitten
Chris: No. Sorry.
Me: But they’re so cute. And I miss cuddling with Otis <—- that part was me trying to get him to feel bad for my loss
Chris: Jake and Max will cuddle
Me: When we own our own home, I will be more persistent.

That was the end of that conversation, but I was not kidding about being more persistent/annoying about it in the future. However, I started thinking (dangerous ground, I know) if I got a kitten…an ADORABLE, AWESOME kitten, what’s he going to do about it? Sure, he’ll be mad and he might try to convince Max it’s a chew toy, but seriously, he’s not going to leave me or kill the kitten. He would just have to deal with the new addition to our family. He would fall in love with that kitten, he just doesn’t know it yet. That cat will become his best friend. That’s probably what he’s afraid of. He’s afraid he will love that kitten so much that he won’t have any more room in his heart for me. But it’s ok honey, I know that a cute kitten can steal your heart and I won’t take offense. He hasn’t been around cats enough to know that they can be really freakin’ awesome creatures. If they weren’t, there wouldn’t be an LOLCats website with tons of funny cat pictures. Cat’s are awesome and if you don’t realize that, then you yourself are not awesome.

Anyway, I’m going to get a kitten and I’m going to hide it in the house, and when Chris finds it, I will just tell him it’s an odd looking dog with a strange sounding bark that I inherited from a relative I didn’t know I had, but I have to keep it because it’s family.

Shhhh…don’t tell Chris.