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I just kind of started typing, and this is what happened.

Last Saturday I got married (Yay!). In 13 days, I’m moving away from my family and friends to begin a wonderful new life with my wonderful new husband near Houston. I’m extrememly excited about it yet absolutely scared at the same time. I’ve never moved that far away. Ever. Farthest I’ve ever been from my Mom is 45 minutes. We will hardly know anyone there. Luckily, my husband has some family nearby. That will help a lot. My excitement totally overshadows my fear though. We will finally have our own space, with our own stuff. Just the two of us. It’s going to be awesome.

The unpacking part? That’s going to be strange. Here’s why: My husband never saw where I used to live, so he has never seen my stuff. My decor, my dishes, my appliances..nothing. When I moved out of my old house, I packed it all up and it’s been packed in storage ever since. His stuff, too. We’ve both lived with our parents for the last several months so we hardly have any posessions outside of storage (moving will be easy though, since it’s all already packed). So, knowing that his stuff is mostly browns and earthy colors, and my house was black, red, and blue…it’s going to be interesting decorating our new place. When I mentioned that I have a really cool mosaic “PEACE” wall art, he was like…um…what? So I said, I promise it’s really cool, it’s not like a hippy thing. (It might be like a hippy thing, but it IS totally cool).

We also have baby furniture, because I’m a freak and got a good deal and no I’m not pregnant. So, he asked what are we going to do with all that? My response: Get pregnant, I guess. 🙂 …but really I said I have no clue. Just set it in the corner probably, because it’s wierd to set up a baby room without a baby. He suggested leaving it in the garage. But then if we have our garage open people might think we are making a baby sleep in the garage. In fact, the neighbors are probably going to see us move in and they’ll see all the furniture coming in and they’ll be like OOHH they have a baby, and then they’ll come over with their baby to see our baby and we’ll be like what baby? And they’ll be like well you had baby furniture, and I’ll say, ohh no, we don’t have a baby. But we WANT a baby. And they’ll think we’re crazy or that we did have a baby, but now we don’t because we lost it or something and they’ll call the cops and we’ll be invesitgated and I’ll have to prove that I’ve never had a baby. Or they might think that Chris once had a baby, or that we stole a baby and were hiding it and that’s why we suddenly moved into the neighborhood and we would be like NO, WE HAVE NO BABY!!! But then the neighbors will be suspicious and drive us out of the neighborhood and I’ll have to re-pack and OHHH I hate packing so I really don’t want to have to move because of a misunderstanding that we caused.

We’re going to have to move in the middle of the night so people don’t see our future baby furniture. (not futuristic, but just furniture for the baby we hope to have in the future)


Hookers make good money, right?

Well, it’s official. I’m packing up and moving from the Dallas area to the Houston area in February. My (almost) husband’s job is relocating him, which means they’re relocating me.

Dilemma #1: I have no job after January 31st.

Dilemma #2: We have to have a place to live and the place we really like and want costs money.

Solution #1: I will be a hooker. Except I don’t think I would be a very good hooker because I don’t like sleezeballs and from what I understand a lot of sleezeballs get hookers. And I don’t want to be arrested, and I don’t think I would be able to tell if the “john” was undercover or not. Also, there are a lot of other hookers out there, and since Houston is a big city, it’s probably a pretty competitive market. Also, I don’t feel like I would handle getting slapped around by a pimp very well. I don’t like abuse. Nevermind about the hooker thing.

Solution #2: I will be a pimp. A pimp of guys. I will find willing Houstonian men and make them work for me. And they will pay me. Unless they someday realize that there is only one of me and several of them (because I would be a successful pimp and would have a lot of guys working for me, because I’m entrepreneurial and stuff) and that if they join together they could take me out (like murder not like on a date). I don’t think I would like murder so I could not be a pimp. Also, I don’t think very many women would pay for it. Women can just basically get it for free. Nevermind about the pimp thing.

Solution #3: Get a real job. So. Um, someone find me a real job please…