Don’t you hate it when you try to pants your husband but then it backfires because he sprays you in the face with his deodorant?
Oh, that’s never happened to you?
It happened to me today and let me tell you that was not nearly as painful as I thought it would be. My eyes watered a lot, and it didn’t taste good and maybe my lungs are on the verge of collapsing from inhaling deoderant. Basically, I laid out the story start to finish in the first sentence so I’m not really sure how to explain it. So this isn’t even really a whole post. It’s more like a long twitter post. And also an online record of me getting deodorant sprayed in my face in case I die of some really strange ailment and no one can figure it out. It was in an orange can. I’m not sure what it’s called because Chris won’t tell me and I’m too blind to go look at the can.
In case the previous paragraph or two wasn’t enough for you, I walked the dogs in a see through tank top today. Totally not on purpose. It wasn’t until we had passed
some people a family with children that I realized I could see through my shirt. So I asked Chris if he could see through my shirt and he quickly said yep.
Thanks. I’ve been outside in this tank top for like 2 hours WITH YOU, and you didn’t notice before now? Awesome.
You know when you’re around someone with a knife and they think it’s funny to pretend to stab you? Well, that scares me. I don’t like the thought of being stabbed or pretend stabbed. That would hurt so bad. I can barely handle a papercut or a cat scratch. I can’t imagine how bad it would hurt to have sharp metal stuck in you. I feel pretty sure that if I did get stabbed, I would want them to leave the knife in there though. Mainly because I KNOW it’s going to hurt going in so I bet it extra hurts coming out. Secondly, I have a nail in my tire now, but the air stays in. If I take the nail out, the air will go out. So maybe if the knife is left in, the blood and organs will stay in until I can safely but urgently arrive at the hospital.
I really hope it’s only 1 knife though. because another tire had 2 nails in it, and the air didn’t stay in.
I also hope it’s just a knife. I know sometimes people stab people with other sharp objects. I don’t understand how un-sharp objects stab. I feel like that would probably hurt most. Like rebar. People get stabbed with rebar when they fall. Holy Ouch! No. How hard to you have to fall to get stabbed with rebar? Why is rebar where you fell? Why is rebar always rusty? ….so many questions