So, the cable guy came to the house today. I picked an installation time of 12-4 (you know, because they’re never specific) and he called me around 9 this morning to say he could be here in 15 minutes. Cool!! That works out nicely. Except I’m home alone. Kind of. The dogs are here and they’re vicious and carry knives so don’t get any ideas. Anyway, I tell Chris that he’s on his way. Now, at this point, I’ve run some “scenarios” through my head…just in case…ya know? Like what happens if he attacks me…etc… Chris replies to me saying stuff about guns and knives and a machete, you know for an FYI and just in case something happens so I’ll know where to find it all. Ok, yeah not like I wasn’t ALREADY paranoid. Thanks. So I make sure the dogs are loose so when he knocks, he will hear them being all crazy and killer like. When he gets here, he is totally polite, very friendly looking. But you know, the friendly ones are the ones that’ll get ya. Like that Joran dude, or that handsome guy bandit (seriously that’s what he was called). So, when he went back to his truck, I took a picture of his paperwork that had his tech ID on it and I sent it to K-Star. Just in case. I tried to get a pic of his face, but I was afraid he would catch me. I described him to her though. and to Chris. Just covering my bases.
ANYWAY…here’s where I realize I need help. Like mental help.
He needed to go in the attic, and the stairs are upstairs behind my desk. So the first time he went up there, I was downstairs when he came down. Well, while I’m up at my desk he comes back upstairs and goes in the attic again…my brain got loose here. I started thinking, what if he’s just going up there so he can come down while I’m sitting here and he can sneak up behind me. (uh, duh, I would hear him coming…idiot). Then when he actually started coming down the attic stairs, I brought my hand up to my throat…palm out. And just held it there. In case he tried to strangle me. Yes. I did that. Wow. That amazed even me. As I was doing it I was like oh my gosh, you have your hand to your throat. You’re clinically insane. You shouldn’t be left alone. Ever. Especially since at that point I was talking to myself in my head. Awesome.